this little piggy is such a pig it makes me sick to know this little piggy.
this little piggy is so not who i thought this piggy was, which makes me wonder why i've     tried so hard to fit this piggy's standards.
this little piggy won't leave my system.
this little piggy makes me want to do things i don't want to do.
and this little piggy deserves a super, double palm-sided then back-handed SLAP!

brad pitt recently turned 40 years old. 
the fact that this fact doesn't make me go "Ew! He's forty?!" makes me think that I'm getting older.

graduation is in... xxchecks calendar and clockxx... 17 days and 8 hours and 32 minutes.

louie is sleeping.  it's weird; i live with him and i spend a lot of my weekends at his parents' house, but i haven't been spending much time with him lately.  i miss him and he's right here.

i'm reading @ the bazaar cafe on Monday night if anyone's interested.   

been doing a lot of art-ing lately.  i have one bad burn and three minor burns that still smart from hot glue.  i also have a cut that's about 1mm deep but that surprisingly didn't bleed from twisting wire that dried out my skin and scraped it.  awww, the labors of doing things you love.  so i made a decision.  i'm going to try to do americorp and/or another job.  i'm also going to go to city college and get an associate's degree in childhood development.  i figure that it would make a good balance to work with younger kids in the day and work on my writing in the evening.  i guess i should go ahead and fill out a fafsa and figure out how to get a loan forebearance or whatever it is that you call it when you put off paying back your loans because you're in school.  still not sure if i'll attend full-time or half-time.  full time means insure, but americorp has that, so if i get it, cool.  then there's still the possibility of working at usf, which may be good for me, because of the health benefits and all.  the only thing that's really definite for me is that i'm getting an MFA someday.  yeah. 

was planning on making a doctor's appointment tomorrow so i can figure out why the heck my cough hasn't gone away and why i'm having shortness of breathing.  except, i have painting from 9-11:45am, a conference for my senior seminar course from 1:30-2pm, a meeting for the brochure team for the senior seminar conference from 4:30-5:30pm, and a design meeting for the Ignatian literary mag from 5:30-whenever.  i supposedly have work from 12-5, but i guess that's not happening straight through.  i guess there's always wednesday morning.  why is this semester so stressful???

horrible, terrible, no good, very bad cold. 

Here's a senryu (aka a poem in haiku format, but that isn't a haiku because it isn't about nature).

Didn't make the cut.
Not valedictorian--
fcuk it. I still rock.

re-update: i forgot to save as i was updating and my philosophizing got erased.  basically, i'm fine with being one of the final candidates because that's pretty damn good in itself to be one of twenty then eleven then six.  i know why i didn't get it and i'm relieved that i'm not waiting anymore.  it was also about how  i've also been re-living that darn interview over and over with better, more articulate answers since i left the interview, and i left the interview feeling like i hadn't gotten it anyway.  i couldn't sleep last night because i kept answering questions over and over--not out loud, of course.  and it was also about how i'm not upset anymore so i had to change the f-word to the other f-word that makes it acceptable to almost say it, without really saying it because switching two letters makes a helluva difference.  yay to me for being humbled with the recurring realization that though i may be good at a lot of things, there is no one thing i'm the best at.  which sucks when i think about it, but feels pretty darn good in the doing.                           

with the bad news comes some good...

my piece "30 Self Portraits:  March 2003" got accepted!  woohoo!  who wants to come to the reception and awards ceremony?  it's friday may 7 from 4-6pm in my school's library.

so i didn't get valedictorian.  but, as Jazel says, "If you strove for the best, but did not get the best, don't be discouraged because you lost nothing, but gained the next best thing" .  being one of the final six is good enough... right?

Allelujah and Glory to You, O Lord.

Happy Easter Monday, Everyone .

jesus died for my sin.

last night louie, raquel, jannelle, jr., and i went to St. Catherine's to watch the annual passion play that cym puts on.  we ended being a little more than a 1/2 hour late for the Good Friday mass and really early for the passion play because their were so many people that mass didn't end until past 9 (the play was supposed to start at 8:30).  although we had to stand for about an hour, i was glad that we made the mass and were able to participate in the veneration of the cross and communion and listen to all the songs.  the passion play was pretty good--i cried quite a few times.  i also wanted to crawl under a rock and disappear when my cell phone alarm (which apparently doesn't just vibrate when you put your phone on silent) went off "one-two-three-four! (jazz improv goes here)" during christ's death scene on the cross.  the timing couldn't have been better could it?  just as jesus said, "Forgive them, Father; they know not what they do," i found my phone (after a freaking long 30 seconds) and turned off the alarm as lightning striked and jesus died.