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  • Any prospective, future, or current teachers interested in attending a FREE Teachers For Social Justice conference, with free lunch and childcare, on Saturday, October 15 click here:  http://www.t4sj.org/

  • yesterday i almost got ran over

    by a woman who decided not to slow down at a red light and screeched to
    stopped within a few inches of me as my flight or fight response took
    over and i somehow jumped and ran backwards back onto the
    sidewalk.  i don't remember thinking about moving, actually i
    remember anticipating the car ramming into my leg.  i guess my
    habit of inching out into the crosswalk, regardless of the pedestrian
    signal that's telling me "yes, it's okay," has been justified.  
           

  • a semantics game

    female reduces me to my biology



    woman
    tells me i am the woe of man



    girl
    makes me meek and vulnerable

    lady constricts my manners and behaviors



  • Eyewitness Account... Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans



    Katrina aftermath: senseless deprivation and nasty pigs

    Posted to MySpace by Kjersti Egerdahl Sept. 9

    Date: Fri, 9 Sep 2005 14:27:09 -0700 (PDT)
    From: Matt Thompson
    Subject: acct of NOLA experience

    Sept 5, 2005

    Fwd by Phil Gasper:

    Two friends of mine--paramedics attending a
    conference--were trapped in New Orleans by Hurricane
    Katrina. This is their eyewitness report. PG

    Hurricane Katrina-Our Experiences by Larry Bradshaw,
    Lorrie Beth Slonsky

    Two days after Hurricane Katrina struck New Orleans,
    the Walgreen's store at the corner of Royal and
    Iberville streets remained locked. The dairy display
    case was clearly visible through the widows. It
    wasnow 48 hours without electricity, running water,
    plumbing. The milk, yogurt, and cheeses were beginning
    to spoil in the 90-degree heat. The owners and
    managers had locked up the food, water, pampers, and
    prescriptions and fled the City. Outside Walgreen's
    windows, residents and tourists grew increasingly
    thirsty and hungry.

    The much-promised federal, state and local aid never
    materialized and the windows at Walgreen's gave way to
    the looters. There was an alternative. The cops could
    have broken one small window and distributed the nuts,
    fruit juices, and bottle water in an organized and
    systematic manner. But they did not. Instead they
    spent hours playing cat and mouse, temporarily chasing
    away the looters.

    We were finally airlifted out of New Orleans two days
    ago and arrived home yesterday (Saturday). We have yet
    to see any of the TV coverage or look at a newspaper.
    We are willing to guess that there were no video
    images or front-page pictures of European or affluent
    white tourists looting the Walgreen's in the French
    Quarter. We also suspect the media will have been
    inundated with "hero" images of the National Guard,
    the troops and the police struggling to help the
    "victims" of the Hurricane. What you will not see, but
    what we witnessed, were the real heroes and sheroes of
    the hurricane relief effort: the working class of New
    Orleans. The maintenance workers who used a fork lift
    to carry the sick and disabled. The engineers, who
    rigged, nurtured and kept the generators running. The
    electricians who improvised thick extension cords
    stretching over blocks to share the little electricity
    we had in order to free cars stuck on rooftop parking
    lots. Nurses who took over for mechanical ventilators
    and spent many hours on end manually forcing air into
    the lungs of unconscious patients to keep them alive.
    Doormen who rescued folks stuck in elevators.
    Refinery workers who broke into boat yards, "stealing"
    boats to rescue their neighbors clinging to their
    roofs in flood waters. Mechanics who helped hot-wire
    any car that could be found to ferry people out of the
    City. And the food service workers who scoured the
    commercial kitchens improvising communal meals for
    hundreds of those stranded. Most of these workers had
    lost their homes, and had not heard from members of
    their families, yet they stayed and provided the only
    infrastructure for the 20% of New Orleans that was not
    under water.

    On Day 2, there were approximately 500 of us left in
    the hotels in the French Quarter. We were a mix of
    foreign tourists, conference attendees like ourselves,
    and locals who had checked into hotels for safety and
    shelter from Katrina. Some of us had cell phone
    contact with family and friends outside of New
    Orleans. We were repeatedly told that all sorts of
    resources including the National Guard and scores of
    buses were pouring in to the City. The buses and the
    other resources must have been invisible because none
    of us had seen them. We decided we had to save
    ourselves. So we pooled our money and came up with
    $25,000 to have ten buses come and take us out of the
    City. Those who did not have the requisite $45.00 for
    a ticket were subsidized by those who did have extra
    money. We waited for 48 hours for the buses, spending
    the last 12 hours standing outside, sharing the
    limited water, food, and clothes we had. We created a
    priority boarding area for the sick, elderly and new
    born babies. We waited late into the night for the
    "imminent" arrival of the buses. The buses never
    arrived. We later learned that the minute they
    arrived at the City limits, they were commandeered by
    the military.

    By day 4 our hotels had run out of fuel and water.
    Sanitation was dangerously abysmal. As the desperation
    and despair increased, street crime as well as water
    levels began to rise. The hotels turned us out and
    locked their doors, telling us that the "officials"
    told us to report to the convention center to wait for
    more buses. As we entered the center of the City, we
    finally encountered the National Guard. The Guards
    told us we would not be allowed into the Superdome as
    the City's primary shelter had descended into a
    humanitarian and health hellhole. The guards further
    told us that the City's only other shelter, the
    Convention Center, was also descending into chaos and
    squalor and that the police were not allowing anyone
    else in. Quite naturally, we asked, "If we can't go to
    the only 2 shelters in the City, what was our
    alternative?" The guards told us that that was our
    problem, and no they did not have extra water to give
    to us. This would be the start of our numerous
    encounters with callous and hostile "law enforcement".

    We walked to the police command center at Harrah's on
    Canal Street and were told the same thing, that we
    were on our own, and no they did not have water to
    give us. We now numbered several hundred. We held a
    mass meeting to decide a course of action. We agreed
    to camp outside thepolice command post. We would be
    plainly visible to the media and would constitute a
    highly visible embarrassment to the City officials.
    The police told us that we could not stay.

    Regardless, we began to settle in and set up camp. In
    short order, the police commander came across the
    street to address our group. He told us he had a
    solution: we should walk to the Pontchartrain
    Expressway and cross the greater New Orleans Bridge
    where the police had buses lined up to take us out of
    the City. The crowd cheered and began to move. We
    called everyone back and explained to the commander
    that there had been lots of misinformation and wrong
    information and was he sure that there were buses
    waiting for us. The commander turned to the crowd and
    stated emphatically, "I swear to you that the buses
    are there."

    We organized ourselves and the 200 of us set off for
    the bridge with great excitement and hope. As we
    marched past the convention center, many locals saw
    our determined and optimistic group and asked where we
    were headed. We told them about the great news.
    Families immediately grabbed their few belongings and
    quickly our numbers doubled and then doubled again.
    Babies in strollers now joined us, people using
    crutches, elderly clasping walkers and others people
    in wheelchairs. We marched the 2-3 miles to the
    freeway and up the steep incline to the Bridge. It now
    began to pour down rain, but it did not dampen our
    enthusiasm.

    As we approached the bridge, armed Gretna sheriffs
    formed a line across the foot of the bridge. Before we
    were close enough to speak, they began firing their
    weapons over our heads. This sent the crowd fleeing in
    various directions. As the crowd scattered and
    dissipated, a few of us inched forward and managed to
    engage some of the sheriffs in conversation. We told
    them of our conversation with the police commander and
    of the commander's assurances. The sheriffs informed
    us there were no buses waiting. The commander had lied
    to us to get us to move.

    We questioned why we couldn't cross the bridge anyway,
    especially as there was little traffic on the 6-lane
    highway. They responded that the West Bank was not
    going to become New Orleans and there would be no
    Superdomes in their City. These were code words for if
    you are poor and black, you are not crossing the
    Mississippi River and you were not getting out of New
    Orleans.

    Our small group retreated back down Highway 90 to seek
    shelter from the rain under an overpass. We debated
    our options and in the end decided to build an
    encampment in the middle of the Ponchartrain
    Expressway on the center divide, between the O'Keefe
    and Tchoupitoulas exits. We reasoned we would be
    visible to everyone, we would have some security being
    on an elevated freeway and we could wait and watch for
    the arrival of the yet to be seen buses. All day long,
    we saw other families, individuals and groups make the
    same trip up the incline in an attempt to cross the
    bridge, only to be turned away. Some chased away with
    gunfire, others simply told no, others to be verbally
    berated and humiliated. Thousands of New Orleaners
    were prevented and prohibited from self-evacuating the
    City on foot.

    Meanwhile, the only two City shelters sank further
    into squalor and disrepair. The only way across the
    bridge was by vehicle. We saw workers stealing trucks,
    buses, moving vans, semi-trucks and any car that could
    be hotwired. All were packed with people trying to
    escape the misery New Orleans had become. Our little
    encampment began to blossom. Someone stole a water
    delivery truck and brought it up to us. Let's hear it
    for looting! A mile or so down the freeway, an army
    truck lost a couple of pallets of C-rations on a tight
    turn. We ferried the food back to our camp in shopping
    carts. Now secure with the two necessities, food and
    water; cooperation, community, and creativity
    flowered. We organized a clean up and hung garbage
    bags from the rebar poles. We made beds from wood
    pallets and cardboard. We designated a storm drain as
    the bathroom and the kids built an elaborate enclosure
    for privacy out of plastic, broken umbrellas, and
    other scraps. We even organized a food recycling
    system where individuals could swap out parts of
    C-rations (applesauce for babies and candies for
    kids!).

    This was a process we saw repeatedly in the aftermath
    of Katrina. When individuals had to fight to find food
    or water, it meant looking out for yourself only. You
    had to do whatever it took to find water for your kids
    or food for your parents. When these basic needs were
    met, people began to look out for each other, working
    together and constructing a community.

    If the relief organizations had saturated the City
    with food and water in the first 2 or 3 days, the
    desperation, the frustration and the ugliness would
    not have set in. Flush with the necessities, we
    offered food and water to passing families and
    individuals. Many decided to stay and join us. Our
    encampment grew to 80 or 90 people.

    From a woman with a battery powered radio we learned
    that the media was talking about us. Up in full view
    on the freeway, every relief and news organizations
    saw us on their way into the City. Officials were
    being asked what they were going to do about all those
    families living up on the freeway? The officials
    responded they were going to take care of us. Some of
    us got a sinking feeling. "Taking care of us" had an
    ominous tone to it.

    Unfortunately, our sinking feeling (along with the
    sinking City) was correct. Just as dusk set in, a
    Gretna Sheriff showed up, jumped out of his patrol
    vehicle, aimed his gun at our faces, screaming, "Get
    off the fucking freeway". A helicopter arrived and
    used the wind from its blades to blow away our flimsy
    structures. As we retreated, the sheriff loaded up his
    truck with our food and water. Once again, at
    gunpoint, we were forced off the freeway. All the law
    enforcement agencies appeared threatened when we
    congregated or congealed into groups of 20 or more. In
    every congregation of "victims" they saw "mob" or
    "riot". We felt safety in numbers. Our "we must stay
    together" was impossible because the agencies would
    force us into small atomized groups.

    In the pandemonium of having our camp raided and
    destroyed, we scattered once again. Reduced to a small
    group of 8 people, in the dark, we sought refuge in an
    abandoned school bus, under the freeway on Cilo
    Street. We were hiding from possible criminal elements
    but equally and definitely, we were hiding from the
    police and sheriffs with their martial law, curfew and
    shoot-to-kill policies.

    The next days, our group of 8 walked most of the day,
    made contact with New Orleans Fire Department and were
    eventually airlifted out by an urban search and rescue
    team. We were dropped off near the airport and managed
    to catch a ride with the National Guard. The two young
    guardsmen apologized for the limited response of the
    Louisiana guards. They explained that a large section
    of their unit was in Iraq and that meant they were
    shorthanded and were unable to complete all the tasks
    they were assigned.

    We arrived at the airport on the day a massive airlift
    had begun. The airport had become another Superdome.
    We 8 were caught in a press of humanity as flights
    were delayed for several hours while George Bush
    landed briefly at the airport for a photo op. After
    being evacuated on a coast guard cargo plane, we
    arrived in San Antonio, Texas. There the humiliation
    and dehumanization of the official relief effort
    continued. We were placed on buses and driven to a
    large field where we were forced to sit for hours and
    hours. Some of the buses did not have
    air-conditioners. In the dark, hundreds if us were
    forced to share two filthy overflowing porta-potties.
    Those who managed to make it out with any possessions
    (often a few belongings in tattered plastic bags) we
    were subjected to two different dog-sniffing searches.
    Most of us had not eaten all day because our C-rations
    had been confiscated at the airport because the
    rations set off the metal detectors. Yet, no food had
    been provided to the men, women, children, elderly,
    disabled as they sat for hours waiting to be
    "medically screened" to make sure we were not carrying
    any communicable diseases.

    This official treatment was in sharp contrast to the
    warm, heart-felt reception given to us by the ordinary
    Texans. We saw one airline worker give her shoes to
    someone who was barefoot. Strangers on the street
    offered us money and toiletries with words of welcome.
    Throughout, the official relief effort was callous,
    inept, and racist. There was more suffering than need
    be. Lives were lost that did not need to be lost.

  • who wants to spend saturday, january 14, 2006, helping families build
    their own homes from 8:30am-4:15pm in Daly City, CA?  let me know,
    give me your email addy, and i'll send you the evite (if I haven't
    already... or maybe i just got your address wrong).  yay.

    ps.  i will update on my life, hopefully later on this week.  xanga, it's been a while.

  • sometimes i get so overwhelmed that it causes an implosion and i don't feel like sharing anything with anyone and i keep it all to myself.


    i guess that explains my absence. 


    and now, here i am poking holes into myself, like a clown does--with pieces of tape over the places i prick, so the leak will be slow and not result in a bursting of pressure.


    i went to anaheim the weekend of the 9th with louie, vic, claire, & micah (those two are on myspace, have abandoned xangas, and i don't know their links, but if you should, you do).  my first non-family, non-school/work-related trip.  it felt kinda cool to be independent in choosing when/where/how often to make stops and to be able to decide to make them last up to 3 hours. 




    poke.


    the weekend of the 15th, louie's birthday, i went on my end of the year retreat. it was good times.  i went to a palm/tarot reader on cannery row who told me 2 things that stand out 1) i'm supposedly getting married in the next year or two xxrolls eyesxx and 2) 4 or 5 years ago someone, a dark haired woman along with a lighter haired woman, basically cursed me, which isn't the greatest information to receive.  we stayed at villa angelica, which is by a carmelite monastery.  i also walked on the most painful beach, fairly appropriately named Monastery Beach.  it was nice.  we cooked our own meals, danced in the kitchen, took scadalous pictures... all that good bonding stuff. 






    poke.


      that sunday, mandy left our retreat early because her younger brother had gotten into a car accident and was in a coma and undergoing brain surgery.  he was declared brain dead last monday, the funeral was this past saturday.  they donated his organs. 


    poke.


    last friday was my last americorps meeting and our end of the year dinner.  halfway through the year i had honestly considered quitting, and now it feels like pieces of me have begun to drift away. 





     poke.


    tomorrow is my last day at IHDC and the kids are asking me when i'm coming back and i'm saying, "i don't know" because i can't bear to say, "maybe never." 



    poke.






















  • The Keys to Your Heart

    You are attracted to good manners and elegance.
    In love, you feel the most alive when everything is uncertain, one moment heaven... the next moment hell.
    You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.
    You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.
    Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.
    Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.
    You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.
    In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

  • Got back from Anaheim at around 2am on Tuesday morning, will post some pics probably next weekend.


    For now, In case you were interested...


    National Do Not Call Registry:  https://www.donotcall.gov/register/Reg.aspx


    Credit Bureau "Pre-Screened" Credit & Insurance Offers List: http://www.optoutprescreen.com


    Direct Marketing Preferences (mail, telephone, & email): http://www.dmaconsumers.org/consumerassistance.html

  • Happy Father's Day
    to all the Daddy-o's!

  • don't eat leftover french toast w/strawberries from an IHOP located somewhere between valencia and vallejo...

    i'm in my apartment with an aching tummy.  i was trying to figure out what was making my stomach hurt and bloated this morning, until i remembered puking up a little strawberry & french toast last night before we went to auntie mazen's bday bbq.

    but anyway.  so i was complaining to louie about how i felt that the lyrics of the chorus of destiny's child's "girl" didn't show much growth since their last album.  he pointed out, though, that the were following in en vogue's footsteps in terms of songs that were empowering to women, and i agreed; they were, and that was a good thing.  then yesterday i saw the "cater 2 u" music video, which, to my disappointment, i think negates all of their "strong women" songs, such as "survivor" and "independent woman."  the lyrics of this song, like "i got your slippers, your dinner, your dessert" and especially "when you come home late tap me on my shoulder, i'll roll over/baby I heard you, I'm here to serve you," make me cringe.  i guess i could understand if there was some sort of reciprocity depicted in the lyrics, or at least in the video, but nope, it was just naked and scantily dressed destiny's child and lusty looking man.  boo!

    so quite a few people have been complaining about the relationship and dialogue between anakin and padme in "Reveng of the Sith," calling it elementary, high school-ish, weak, etc.  so i'm wondering, why wasn't i irked by it?  maybe it's because i wasn't expecting anything deep or mind-blowing.  maybe it's because their conversation on the balcony reminds me of a conversation louie and i could've had earlier in our relationship.  maybe it's because i felt that in the context of the story, it was believable enough that padme, who was pregnant and therefore, i guess, more "hormonal," would feel like her heart was being broken by a man whom she loved, but who was no longer someone she recognized; i mean, damn, how would you feel if you found out your girlfriend/boyfriend or husband/wife--with whom you conceived a child--just slashed up a bunch of little kids with a lightsaber.  or maybe, it's just because my standards and expectations for television and movies are much lower than what i look for in literature.  i guess it's probably all of the above.