July 29, 2005
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sometimes i get so overwhelmed that it causes an implosion and i don't feel like sharing anything with anyone and i keep it all to myself.
i guess that explains my absence.
and now, here i am poking holes into myself, like a clown does--with pieces of tape over the places i prick, so the leak will be slow and not result in a bursting of pressure.
i went to anaheim the weekend of the 9th with louie, vic, claire, & micah (those two are on myspace, have abandoned xangas, and i don't know their links, but if you should, you do). my first non-family, non-school/work-related trip. it felt kinda cool to be independent in choosing when/where/how often to make stops and to be able to decide to make them last up to 3 hours.
poke.
the weekend of the 15th, louie's birthday, i went on my end of the year retreat. it was good times. i went to a palm/tarot reader on cannery row who told me 2 things that stand out 1) i'm supposedly getting married in the next year or two xxrolls eyesxx and 2) 4 or 5 years ago someone, a dark haired woman along with a lighter haired woman, basically cursed me, which isn't the greatest information to receive. we stayed at villa angelica, which is by a carmelite monastery. i also walked on the most painful beach, fairly appropriately named Monastery Beach. it was nice. we cooked our own meals, danced in the kitchen, took scadalous pictures... all that good bonding stuff.
poke.
that sunday, mandy left our retreat early because her younger brother had gotten into a car accident and was in a coma and undergoing brain surgery. he was declared brain dead last monday, the funeral was this past saturday. they donated his organs.
poke.
last friday was my last americorps meeting and our end of the year dinner. halfway through the year i had honestly considered quitting, and now it feels like pieces of me have begun to drift away.
poke.
tomorrow is my last day at IHDC and the kids are asking me when i'm coming back and i'm saying, "i don't know" because i can't bear to say, "maybe never."
poke.
Comments (2)
aww wut the curses? yeah i've been updating less frequent too. at least you didn't abandon like some..
miss ya on xanga. but it's all good. i'll talk to ya whenever u get back from disneyland (or whenever it is u get to read this). i'm home from vegas now. take care. love ya - rob
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