August 10, 2004

• when i was in ninth grade i became a solano county peer counselor.  two terms that have stuck
  with me from this training and certification:
  
  1) There's an Elephant in the Living Room
  
  2) Enabler
  
  The 1st term refers to the problems in
  dysfunctional relationships. 
  Having an elephant in your fricken living room is not a thing hard to miss.  It's a fricken ELEPHANT!  Everyone sees it.  It's a pretty big problem.  Except the people with the problem choose to squeeze around it, ignore, pretend it's not there.  Why not just take the elephant
  out of the living room?!  because sometimes, people are so used
  to the elephant being there, that maybe their scared of what will happen if it's gone--maybe something worse might take it's place?  But c'mon!  Can't you just imagine how big elephant poop is??
  
  An enabler is someone who allows
  another to continue with destructive/wrong/stupid behavior.  Typically this is someone who is close to the destructive/wrong/stupid person, aka friend, relative, etc.  These are a couple ways of is how they allow it:
  a) second chances, such as saying "i'll give you another chance, just promise you won't do it again"
  b) bailing them out with the mentality that if one helps the bastard
  out, he or she will be so appreciative that she or he will stop being an bastard
  Of course, being the destructive/wrong/stupid bastard
  that this person is, she or he does not make any changes, but instead learns to rely on the fact that
  she or will get another chance or get bailed out by his/her loved one
  because this dwsb (destructive/wrong/stupid bastard) is not allowed to suffer the consequences of his/her actions, the friend/relative/lover/savior is 
  ENABLING
  to continue with the crappy behavior.  

  • 5:59 pm
  • 7 Comments